


In the end I win every time

by ityellsback



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Daddy Kink, Face-Sitting, Genital Piercing, Incest, M/M, Masochism, Multi, Nook Eating, Oral Sex, Relationship Issues, Sibling Incest, Threesome - M/M/M, Trans Character, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 19:20:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ityellsback/pseuds/ityellsback
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Like you can spring that kind of thing on a guy and expect him to forget it. Being told you aren't good enough in bed isn't the kind of thing I could just forget, especially considering my issues in that department, which you <i> know </i> about."</p><p>"It's because I suspect you're into someone else! Jeez, lay off, will you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the end I win every time

**Author's Note:**

> mind the tags. the longest thing i've written to date. comments/criticisms welcome.
> 
> in retrospect i feel this fic fails to establish enthusiastic consent the way i wanted it to. i want it to be clear that all sex is completely consensual; dave does not feel coerced at any time. in the future i plan on editing this story to change that detail.

You're lying in bed with your boyfriend, post coital cuddling, when he says, hesitantly,

"Hey, Dave?"

"Wha's up, my man?"

"Do you think you would ever consider having a threesome?" You don't say anything for a long moment. You can feel the blush climbing up onto your face. Shit, you wish you had your sunglasses on. You roll away from him, even knowing it'll hurt him. Because a threesome? Seriously? Are you not enough?

"Where is this coming from," you finally ask, flatly.

He puts his hand on your back. "It's not you," he says quietly. "I swear to fuck it's not. It's me, if anything, I mean, I should be thankful someone as hot as you will even look at me, much less fuck me, much less treat me the way you do,"

"Karkat, please stop with the self-immolation. Anytime now, get to the point," usually you might be more sympathetic, but you are not in the mood for this right now. This conversation was about you. Or is that you being selfish like you apparently are being in this relationship? Shit, shit, shit.

His voice has gone high and shaky when he next speaks. "Sorry, Dave. Forget it." He gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom. You don't move. Like you could just forget it.

 

* * *

 

Life continues. You try to pretend you aren't angry with Karkat, and he tries to pretend nothing is wrong. You haven't had sex in two weeks. You refuse to initiate and Karkat has been avoiding the subject. Apparently you aren't enough in any department.

 

* * *

 

Your brother keeps having someone over, and it always seems to be on nights Karkat is out.

 

* * *

 

You finally bring it up again, at a nice dinner date, attempting to say "So how aren't I enough?" conversationally across the table as Karkat tries to finish his noodles. It comes out angry.

"What?" he asks.

"How. Aren't. I. Enough," you grit out again. You're not sure what brought this on, exactly, except seeing all these other happy couples eating their meals and this one goddamn couple in particular holding hands across the table like they are in one of Karkat's cheesy romances.

"No, you douche nozzle, I'm asking you your meaning, not to fucking repeat yourself," he snaps back.

"Fine, you fucker, I mean how am I not enough? Why the fuck do you need a threesome?"

He looks stricken.

"Dave, I thought I told you to forget that," he says.

"Yeah, right," you say, "Like you can spring that kind of thing on a guy and expect him to forget it. Being told you aren't good enough in bed isn't the kind of thing I could just forget, especially considering my issues in that department which you _know_ about."

"It's because I suspect you're into someone else! Jeez, lay off, will you?"

Into--"Into someone else? Who the fuck else would I be into?"

Karkat doesn't answer you.

 

* * *

 

It's two years ago and you've just had your 18th birthday. You come home late, a bit drunk, and find Bro sitting at the table, on his 5th beer (if you're judging by the empties). He's slurring his words when he talks to you and suddenly sitting with him is way more interesting than going to bed. You stay up another two hours, shooting the shit, until you see the sun coming up through the window.

"Alright, man, I gotta get some z's," you tell him as you stand up. He nods and stands with you and then--reaches out and touches your cheek, tenderly, and then he. Then he does what you have not spoken of, to anyone, for two long years. He bends down and he kisses you, careful, across the mouth, like he really means this. You can't help it. You kiss him back. When you open your mouth he seems to suddenly realize something, and he pulls back, aghast, startled, and leaves the room without saying anything. You never discuss it.

He probably doesn't even remember.

 

* * *

 

You haven’t spoken to Karkat in two days and you don’t know what to do. He hasn’t actually been away from your house for this long since you started dating, you don’t think? You’re sitting morosely in the kitchen when Bro walks in.

“Hey, little man,” he says. “Could you maybe get lost for a while? I’ve got, uhm, company coming.”

“Sure,” you say. You don’t have anything pressing to be doing in the kitchen. You take your cold pizza and retreat to your bedroom. Soon after, you hear the door to the apartment opening and closing and after that you put your headphones on and turn your music up.

A couple hours later, you take your headphones off to check if the coast is clear for you to go to the bathroom, and you hear the unmistakable sound of crying from the living room. Bro is comforting someone, awkwardly, his voice just too quiet to hear his words. Part of you wants to see who the fuck Bro is fucking that he’s cool with them crying. You decide you can hold it.

 

* * *

 

Karkat finally texts you-- short, brief, nothing but “we need to talk” not even in his usual caps. You’re worried as fuck. It’s day three you haven’t spoken. You’re about to lose your boyfriend, aren’t you? You go to meet him in the park and find him waiting in his cutest dress. He smiles at you, hugely, like he’s really happy to see you.

“Hey,” he says. “Can we pretend like all this didn’t happen?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you say, because even though you’re still sore about it, you also want your boyfriend back. “Yeah.”

When he holds out his hand, you take it.

 

* * *

 

You get home and Bro is in the kitchen, actually make food for once. You peek around his shoulder at the stove and realize it’s just macaroni and cheese, but hey, that stuff is choice with some sriracha on it. You plop down at the table and sigh.

“That ain’t no sound for my bro to be making,” he says, back still to you.

After a bit of contemplation, you decide to tell him. “It’s Karkat. He said something messed up a while ago, and keeps asking for me to just forget it, but I can’t,” you say.

“Like hell am I dealing with this from both sides,” Bro says.

“What?” you say, confounded.

“Shit,” says Bro, and leaves the kitchen hastily. He leaves the water boiling.

 

* * *

 

You’re left to puzzle over Bro’s words, because Karkat is out again that night. You haven’t put your headphones on yet when you hear talking through the door, the sounds of your brother on the phone. Curiosity gets the better of you. Let it never be said you are above eavesdropping for entertainment. You can hear him, muffled, through the door.

“He doesn’t know. I don’t think he knows. Jesus, I fucked up. Fuck, fuck,” and then, “No, it’s not okay! We aren’t ready to tell him yet! We talked about this yesterday, Christ,” a few inaudible sentences as Bro walks into the kitchen then turns around and paces back down the hallway, “No, we can’t keep doing this forever. You’re acting guilty as fuck and he’ll find out eventually,” So your Bro’s a homewrecker, now. Never pegged him as the type. You go back to your computer.

 

* * *

 

Something clicks during the night, but when you wake up you’re sure it was just middle-of-the-night nonsense. It has to be.

 

* * *

 

The more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Karkat and Bro. Bro and Karkat.

Shit. Fuck. Piss.

 

* * *

 

Karkat finally comes over again, but you can’t bring yourself to hold his hand or look at him. Hell, you can barely talk to him. He doesn’t call you on it, though. Instead he withdraws, too, and you spend most of your time watching television in stony silence.

 

* * *

 

You fuck him one last time that night, careful and slow, just so you’ll have the memory. You can barely make yourself kiss him, but you do it, and he surges up against you like he’s been desperate for it. Like he hasn’t been touched. You scowl through the kiss and put a hand up his shirt. You can’t believe this. He finishes before you and sucks you off obligingly, fluttering his long lashes at you and looking up at you through them. That used to really do it for you. You come, but it feels like a punishment.

 

* * *

 

Lying in bed with him afterward, not touching, he says after a long moment,

“Dave?”

“What,” you answer, deadpan. You need to do it soon. You need to break up with him.

“I---I,” he barely ever stutters. What the fuck could be up with him?

“What,” you repeat, rolling over to look at him more carefully.

“I’m having an affair,” he says, finally, miserably.

You can’t think of anything else, so you say, “What?” again.

He starts crying. The tears glisten, pink-ish red, on his grey cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s with--It’s with,” and he stops there.

You take pity on him.

“Karkat,” you say, “I already know. How could I not?”

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment.

Finally, he says, “Then you---then what--”

“I don’t think you should see either of us anymore,” you say.

He chokes a little on his tears, and just says, “Yeah, maybe not.” He gets dressed in silence. It occurs to you this is your last time seeing him naked.

 

* * *

 

He leaves and you lay in your bed that still smells like him and let yourself cry.

 

* * *

 

The next day, you see your brother, because of course you do. Usually he’s out during the day, but today of all days he’s not.

“Hey,” he says.

You say nothing and go about getting a glass of water.

“Uh, Dave,” he repeats when you still haven’t said anything.

You snap, “Fuck off,” while you head out of the kitchen with your water.

“Dave, wait,” he tries, but you’re already closing your door.

 

* * *

 

He knocks on your door a few hours later, and for some ass-backwards reason you open it.

“What,” you say. “What could you possibly have to say to fix this?” you ask.

“I’m sorry,” he tries.

“That’s not going to work,” you say.

“I just wanted--” he tries.

“I don’t care what you wanted,” you say.

“Please, Dave,” and you’re not sure you’ve ever heard your brother say please, so you look him in the eye. He takes his shades off. He strokes your cheek. You freeze.

“Can we not pretend that didn’t happen, for once?” he asks after a long moment. You don’t know what to do, so you shut the door in his face.

 

* * *

 

You can’t stop thinking of it, of the possibilities of it. Get with Bro, get with Karkat. Be a big happy--what’s the word? Triad? God.

You need to lay down.

 

* * *

 

You spend a good deal of time thinking about it. About your brother. About Karkat. You miss him like hell, already, and it’s only been a couple days. As for your brother-- there’s been something there for a while, and you both know it. Maybe it’s time you confronted it, Karkat’s way, instead of running around it and ignoring it, Strider style.

 

* * *

 

The next day, you call Karkat back over, saying you need to talk. When he shows up, he looks like crap, wrinkled clothes and disheveled hair. You and Bro are sitting stiffly on the couch. He doesn’t know what’s going on yet either. You fidget. Karkat stares at you.

He finally opens with, “I thought you didn’t want to see me again.”

“Didn’t want to?” you say. “Didn’t want to see you again? No, fuck you. You were cheating on me, with my fucking brother, and you say that like this is my fault?”

“Dave,” says Bro.

“Dave,” says Karkat, sadly.

“What,” you say back.

“Are you here just so you can rib on Karkat?” asks Bro.

“At least partially,” you say.

Karkat rolls his eyes. At least he doesn’t look so sad anymore. You look straight at him.

“So you’re in love with Bro,” you state. Karkat and Bro both shift uncomfortably.

Bro starts saying, “It’s kind of soon to--” but Karkat cuts him off with “Yeah. Yeah,” and he looks like he’s facing a firing squad. Bro’s cheeks color.

“So,” you say, and point to Karkat, “You’re in love with him,” you point to Bro, “and apparently--apparently he’s in love with me,” you point to yourself. You’re lucky you have your shades on, otherwise they would see the panic in your eyes. What if you just accused your brother of being in love with you and you’re wrong?

God, what if you’re right?

Bro doesn’t contradict you.

Karkat says, “Fuck you, I’m in love with both of you,” like this should have been obvious.

Right. You hang your head in your hands. This is such a disaster. No one’s even yelling and it’s a disaster. Your brother puts a hand on your back. You don’t make him move it.

“Well,” you say, “What now?”

No one says anything.

 

* * *

 

Karkat plops down to watch television with you, and that’s how you all end up crammed onto the half of the couch that’s actually sit-able (the other half is covered in laundry and gaming consoles) watching My Cat From Hell. Bro puts his arm around you. Karkat and Bro are holding hands. How did this happen. Christ.

Eventually, Bro says, “So are we, uh,” and stops.

You don’t know how to answer, all you know is you aren’t really angry anymore, so you don’t say anything.

“What the fuck is ‘uh’,” asks Karkat, “is this some Human word I don’t get the meaning of yet or is it the sound made when one doesn’t know what to say?”

“It means we’re fucking brothers, Karkat, and this is weird,” you say.

“Damn right it’s weird. I raised this brat,” says Bro.

“You’re the one who’s in love with me!” you practically shriek.

“Like the feeling isn’t mutual, kid,” Bro says with all the self assurance of Bro Strider, which is quite a lot.

You don’t actually have an answer for that, so you try your solid standby of “Fuck you!”

“I was hoping this would go in that direction, yeah,” says Bro.

Karkat looks at you when he says, “Wait, really?”

“Uh,” you say.

“Yeah, we got that bit,” says Bro. “You in or not? It’s cool if you’re not. We’re smart people, we can figure out a way to make this all work, bro.” He looks at you, with your mouth still hanging open, and says “Well, I’m smart people, anyway.”

“Okay, “ you say under your breath. “Okay, yeah. Let’s do this thing. Let’s have this party. This tri-dick bump. Let’s do it.”

“You don’t have a dick, Dave,” says Bro.

“Fuck off, I have toys,” you say.

“and neither does Karkat,” Bro continues over you. “So really it’s a singular dick party, but that makes it sound lonely, huh? Vag-dick-bulge party sounds awful though.”

“Oh my bulge munching christ. Can we maybe get on with this sometime this fucking century? I’m going to be standing here, waiting for this threesome, listening to your inane arguments, for eternity,” Karkat cuts in.

“Not my fault Dave’s a little shit,” says Bro, right as you say,

“Fucking god, can we just do this?”

Bro and Karkat both raise their eyebrows at you.

“That sounds enthusiastic,” says Bro.

“A ringing endorsement of the proceedings, yeah,” says Karkat.

“I’m fucking sorry if I’m nervous!” you say, “I promise, I wanna have a threesome!! Now can we actually have this party instead of arguing?”

“Where?” says Karkat.

“We sure as fuck aren’t having it on the couch. Come on, kids. To Dave’s room,” says Bro.

“What?” you say.

“What, where do you propose?” he asks you. “The roof?” he snorts and leads the way into your room like he owns the place. Which you guess he technically does.

 

* * *

 

You walk into your room in silence, but by the time you get there Karkat has noticed that you, in fact, look like shit just as much as he does, and has started in on you about it.

“Are you seriously wearing that shirt? I thought we agreed you were going to throw that one away,” he says about your awful, ironic, and holey DBZ shirt.

“Fuck off,” you say, turning towards him. There’s a rustle behind you, and when you turn around, Bro is buck naked.

“I don’t know what the fuck you two are doing,” he says, his hand on his dick, “But I’m here to have a threesome.”

You almost ask him how he got naked that fast, but are too busy blushing about standing in front of your naked, hot brother to say anything. He’s got piercings in his dick. It’s not like you didn’t suspect when he wore only sweatpants and limped for two days, but seeing them in person is something else. He's got a prince albert through the head of his dick and a neat line of captive ball rings along his scrotum. You wonder what they feel like.

You hear a sudden “Fuck! Shit!” from Karkat’s direction. When you look back at him, he’s got his pants around his ankles and has tripped on them. You are too busy blushing to laugh at him. He stumbles out of them and hops on one foot, then the other, to remove his socks, and then he’s pushing Bro back on to your bed and climbing on top of him. Then they’re kissing.

Your brain has short circuited, surely, you think, staring at Karkat’s wet open nook just above Bro’s hard cock.

“Get over here, you piss drinking asshole,” says Karkat, looking over his shoulder at you.

“Right,” you say, and stumble forward until you’re standing where Bro’s knees are.

“Uh,” you say.

“Christ, y’all are acting like you’ve never boned before,” says Bro, watching you.

“What?” says Karkat. “We have boned so many times it’s a shock we haven’t worn through Dave’s fragile human skin.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Bro asks him.

You go with a solid decision of blushing some more. It’s a miracle your mouth hasn’t started running so far, “We’ve boned so many times it’s a miracle we haven’t worn through my fragile human bed,” oh, and there it goes. God, what are you talking about?

“Dave, take off your clothes,” says Bro.

“Oh,” you say, and take off your shirt and pants. Karkat and Bro go back to making out, but they both sneak glances at you until you’re down to a binder and socks, and Karkat pulls away from Bro to start laughing.

“Dave, oh my gog, look at your socks, who even dresses you, how did you end up with two different socks when I know for a fact you always buy the same white socks, what the _fuck_ , wait, is that my sock?”

You, at this point, could not be any redder. You feels like you are radiating heat. You’re glad your sunglasses are still on, for what little good they do you. “Fuck you, dude, it’s just a fucking sock,” you say.

“No, it’s my fucking sock, and one of my favorites! I’ve been wondering where my other stripey sock went, and you’ve fucking had it this whole time, you fucker!”

“Boys, Jesus Christ,” says Bro, “Can we get this show on the road, maybe?”

Karkat’s response is to rub his nook over Bro’s dick very slowly.

“Christ,” says Bro again, but it’s more of a moan this time. “Come on, Dave,” he says, and holds out a hand to you.

You crawl on to the bed next to him and do what you’ve been wanting to do this entire time, which is kiss Karkat and get your hand between his legs. Karkat moans and wiggles against you, and your hand brushes Bro’s dick. It’s warm and you put the rest of your hand on it, then slide it down along his balls to feel his piercings move.

Bro groans, then says, “Dave, maybe take things a little slower.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, because seriously? “You were the one flash-stripping,” you say.

Bro’s response is cut off by another groan as you drag your hand back up his dick.

Karkat almost hits you in the face swinging his leg over Bro’s hips as he clambers off him.

“Where--” you start asking, but Karkat says,

“Why don’t you make out with Bro?” before climbing on to the ground and putting his mouth where your hand is. Bro makes another noise in the back of his throat and reaches a hand toward you. He’s still wearing his shades, this is ridiculous.

You knock off his goofy sunglasses and then get your hands in his hair. You pull. Hard. He makes this sort of ridiculous but also hot shriek/squeak noise you would never imagine out of him, and then he sort of melts into your kiss. You can’t help it, you start laughing.

“Wha’s so funny,” Bro mumbles.

“Three masochists walk into a bar--oh shit, how’s this even gonna work, oh my god, it’s such a bad joke,” but before you can really get rambling, Karkat pulls your head around, knocking off your shades, and bites your lips. He tastes salty-bitter, and you know it’s Bro’s precum on his lips.

While Karkat is kissing you, Bro shifts up and puts his mouth on your neck, and then bites down. When you gasp, Karkat pulls away to say, “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” before kissing you again. Bro keeps biting at your neck, and you don’t know who to lean into, so you go with rocking back and forth a little bit. Bro, for all his talk of taking it slow, now gets a hand between your legs to give you something to rock on.

“Yeah,” you say, through the kiss.

“How about I get some action here, baby?” he says, and you’re not sure who he’s talking to (baby? really?) until Karkat says,

“Yeah, daddy, you got it.” You make a little surprised noise and rock down harder. Daddy? Is he for real? Karkat sneaks a look at you and smiles, filthy, as climbs back on the bed to swing his leg back over Bro’s hips and position himself above Bro’s dick. He reaches back to hold it, and then sinks down slowly. Both he and Bro groan.

“C’mere, Dave,” says Bro, moving his hand to your thigh. He guides you up so that you’re facing Karkat and above Bro’s face. Bro licks you. Oh. You shudder, and move forward, bracing your hands on Bro’s stomach. He gets his hands around your thighs and encourages you into moving. As you rock on your Bro’s mouth, you watch Karkat moving on Bro’s dick, circles that leave him panting.

You reach out and put your hand on his stomach; he’s still wearing his t-shirt so you touch his bulge through the thin fabric, then reach under it and allow it to twine around your fingers. Karkat whines and returns the favor, getting his fingers on your clit and rubbing hard.

Bro pulls away just enough to bite your thigh, which makes you gasp and then let up on him a little. You can hear him sucking in long breaths behind you, and after a second he pats you on the ass as he says, “Lemme breath every once in a while, ok?” before diving back in.

With Bro’s tongue in you and Karkat’s fingers on you, Karkat kissing you desperately as he rocks on Bro’s cock, it doesn’t take you long to come, hard, all over Bro’s face. To his credit, he keeps his tongue in you through it.

You get off of Bro after a moment. His face is wet. He smirks at you, because of course he does. You lay back against the pillows and watch them a moment. They have a conversation that you don’t understand at all--

“You wanna?”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

and then Bro is saying to you, “Ready for a real show?”

You nod, confused, and then Bro is flipping Karkat on to his back and positioning himself above him.

“Ready, baby?” he asks, and Karkat takes a deep breath before saying,

“I’m ready.” Bro puts his dick back into Karkat's nook and starts pounding him in a way that can’t be comfortable, especially with that piercing, but Karkat is gasping and groaning at the rough treatment in a way that’s clearly pleasurable, even more so when he says,

“Fuck me harder, please, daddy!” and Bro’s speed picks up. Then Karkat is yelling--he is not being quiet, at all. The neighbors are probably wondering what’s up. Actually, the neighbors probably know damn well what’s going on, considering the way your headboard is slamming into the wall.

“Yeah, baby, come on, give it to daddy,” Bro says, and god, this is embarrassing to listen to. It doesn't stop you from sneaking a hand between your legs to see if you can go again, though.

Karkat gasps and moans, making breathy little noises interspersed with “Daddy, daddy please.”

Bro grunts in response and keeps going. You can see that both of Karkat’s hands are looped around Bro’s neck, and he’s pulling Bro’s hair and scratching his back, wherever he can reach. You’re a little shocked when Karkat makes a high trilling sound and moans louder as he comes; no one was touching his bulge. He never came that way with you. For a moment you’re overcome with feelings of inadequacy, but then Bro is pulling out of Karkat and Karkat is smiling at you, right at you, so pretty and blissed out and pleased you’re there.

You like the way Karkat tastes, so you think nothing of crawling over and asking Karkat,

“Can you go for round two?”

He nods and says, “Yeah,” and you put your mouth on him. His bulge is half retracted but it doesn’t take long for it to come out and join the party again as you lick at his nook and bulge slit. Bro made him come that hard, fine. You’ll just have to make him come harder.

You open your mouth wider to get your tongue further in him, and Karkat gasps and arches under you. He gets his hands in your hair and pulls, just like you like. You take his bulge into your mouth and play with it with your tongue. It occurs to you that you’re probably putting on a pretty good show; you look over and see your brother pulling on himself casually and watching you with hungry eyes. Glancing up, you see that Karkat is watching Bro, too. That won’t do, you want his attention on you. You reach up and rake your nails down his thighs, hard as you can, and he groans and squirms and shakes.

“More,” he gasps, and you know you’re on the right track. You run your nails down him again, and look up to see Bro has tangled a hand into his hair, onto one of his horns. You get two fingers into his nook and take his bulge back into your mouth and suck. He shrieks as he comes again.

You rest with your head on Karkat’s thigh for a little while, and try to wipe some of the red off your face.

Karkat breaths and shakes for a while.

“Alright?” you ask him.

“Yeah,” he says, “Fantastic,” and he finally lets go of your hair.

Bro looks down at you and says, “Suck me off?” and you can’t think of a single reason why not.

You put your mouth on Bro’s dick. The skin is surprisingly soft, save for the hardness of the piercing, which is warm and streaked in red. Bro sets his hand in your hair gently. You run your tongue over him, playing with his piercing a little and reveling in the sounds he makes. He encourages you into putting your whole mouth around him and moving. You go down on him as fast and as hard as you know how when you’ve mostly only ever had Karkat’s cute little bulge in your mouth. Your mouth doesn’t go all the way down so you keep your hand wrapped around the base of his cock and move it in time with your mouth, fast bobbing strokes. You use your other hand to play with his balls and the piercings there. You slip your hand back to press on his taint. Bro makes pleased, gratified noises above you, and then he’s saying,

“Dave, Dave, Dave, lemme come on your face, Dave,” and you pull away and nod, and he puts his own hand on his dick and gives himself a few strokes and then you’re covered in even more come.

Bro collapses sideways on the bed, halfway on top of Karkat, who groans and says,

“Get the fuck off me, you giant motherfucker,” and you sure wish you could lie down but you’ve got jizz drying on your face.

“I’m, uh, gonna go use the bathroom,” you say to the room, and Bro and Karkat mumble an acknowledgement at you.

You walk into the bathroom, where you stand in front of the mirror for a little while and look at yourself, Karkat’s red spread across one hand and your mouth and Bro’s come on your face, bite marks on your neck, and your eyes bright and red under your lashes. Oh, god, there’s come all over your face. It’s in your eyebrows. What would it feel like to get it in your eyes? You don’t really want to know, so you’re careful washing your face.

When you walk back into the room, Karkat is lying on Bro’s chest and saying something quietly to him. You’re almost embarrassed, and consider leaving to go be a pathetic needy pile elsewhere, but Bro sees you and smiles at you. You’ve seen him smile more times tonight than maybe ever. Karkat twists around and gives you a happy, gratified smile that you can’t help returning. You climb into bed with them.

 

* * *

 

You wake up in the morning to find yourself in Karkat’s arms. There’s clattering from the kitchen, so you disentangle yourself, then realize you’re still wearing your binder. No wonder it feels like you can’t breathe. You struggle out of it, examine the pink lines it left on your body, then shrug and pull on a pair of boxers to pad into the other room.

Bro is standing in the kitchen wearing only his shades and a pair of boxers that appear to be too tight on him and you highly suspect are yours, and he’s making---making waffles. He never makes waffles. You mean you have literally never witnessed him making waffles.

“Uh,” you say, and he turns around and says,

“Hey,” then looks you over. “Nice socks,” he adds.

“Nice boxers,” you shoot back.

He looks down at himself then back at you, and mumbles, “At least I’m not still wearing socks,” before turning back to cooking.

You sit down at the kitchen table and watch his ass while he cooks, because you’re apparently allowed to do that, now, you think.

Karkat walks out of the bedroom completely naked, because of course he does. He used to walk around your room naked but you refused to let him walk across the hall to the bathroom. Thinking of that, you almost start laughing-- how long was Karkat sleeping with your brother, anyway? You decide it’s relevant.

“Hey, Karkat, wait a second. How long have y’all been fucking?” you ask.

Bro says, “Does it matter?” and Karkat flushes red.

“That long, huh,” you say.

Karkat nods mutely. “I thought,” he says, “that you were fucking him.”

Bro gives him a startled look and says, “You thought I was keeping that from you?”

“You’re humans! You’re weird about this kind of stuff! What’s the word, incense stuff?”

“Do you mean incest stuff?” you ask drily.

“Don’t fuck with me, Dave Strider, I saw you looking at your brother’s ass when I walked in,” he replies.

Bro raises his eyebrows at you, then shrugs and goes back to cooking waffles while saying, “Are y’all gonna bicker like this all the time?”

You both say “Yes,” at the same time, and then glower at each other.

“Okay,” says Bro, and you realize what he’s saying. _All the time_. You guess you better get used to this.


End file.
